Coffee And Baptism
(Ben Bogard, a Baptist debater wrote the following poem to demonstrate that
Scriptural baptism requires immersion in water.)

I have a pleasant story, which I wish to tell in rhyme,
   About a circuit preacher, who lived in recent time.
He was a circuit rider, for good John Wesley's brand,
   And rode the finest circuit, in all the blessed land.

At one of his good charges, some members, not a few,
   Became quite sorely troubled, about the word "into."
The good Book says quite plainly, in Acts chapter eight,
   "They went down into the water," as Baptist people state.

The preacher preached a sermon, of extra zeal and might,
   And to his satisfaction, he set the passage right.
"Into" does not mean "into,"  but only "at" or "near by,"
   They went down to the water, and got a small supply.

But near the place of worship, there lived a sister Brown,
   And for her splendid cooking, she'd gained a great renown.
Her yellow-legged chickens, her luscious cakes and pies,
   Had often made that preacher, roll up his weeping eyes.

And her delicious coffee, in all the circuit round,
   The preacher oft admitted, its like could not be found.
So when he preached his sermon with extra power and length,
   He loved, at the Brown's table, to revive his ebbing strength.

But sister Brown was a Baptist, the strongest in the land,
   She oft reproved the Methodists, for changing God's command.
She heard the preacher's sermon, and thought the subject o'er,
   Then asked him home for dinner, as she oft had done before.

She ground her good brown coffee, her kettle steaming hot,
   And she put it "at" or "near by," the famous coffee pot.
She poured her guest a cupful, (I think it was no sin),
   "But you forgot, dear sister, to put the coffee in."

"No, no, dear sir, that's coffee, I ground a good supply,
   And put it  at' the kettle, ("into" is "at" or "near by").
By the logic of your sermon: (I thought it rather thin),
   If "at" or "near by" is "into,"  I put the coffee in.

So if you will truly promise, no more such stuff to teach,
   I'll go and make some coffee, in line with Bible speech.
And this time I will follow, instructions to the dot,
   And put the coffee "into," not "at" or "near by" the pot.
    Ben Bogard